The first diplomatic date goes to Sarah, the girl with one arm. The reason I bring this up is because she relentlessly reminds us of her lack of an arm. Sean seems to care less, so I think she should too. That said, she is super sweet and she's game for an action-packed date that begins with...SURPRISE!!!...a helicopter ride. Next, Sean and Sarah free-fall off a downtown building to a champagne toast. It's cute. Until Sarah shares a sob story about being denied a ride on the zip-line because of her disability when she was in Vegas with her dad. Then, her dad apparently told her she needed a man to protect her from those situations, thereby setting women back four decades. All of this was sad and tragic...the most of which was the fact that Sarah was in Vegas with her dad. Eww. Anyways, Sarah gets a rose.
The next date is the first massive group date of the season. The lucky few are: Kristy, Amanda, Brooke, Lesley M., Daniella, Catherine, Robyn, Katie, Selma, Diana, Taryn, Kacie and Tierra. They are driven to the most tragically heinous mansion in the highway-adjacent LA suburbs where they star in a photo shoot for harlequin novel covers. You know, the norm. First dates with gratuitous flesh and make-outs are the best! Kristy, the "model" from Milwaukee freaks out but subsequently produces the best shoot. Lesley, who politically harbors the best body on set also puts forth a solid effort, whereas Tierra and her dented forehead doesn't so much. Later, poolside at the manse, a confident Lesley shares some adorable time with Sean who doesn't have enough game to kiss her. Luckily, Lesley has the balls to go back later in the night to plant one on him. Totally cute. The best part about their kiss? The fact that it was narrated by a drunken Daniella, who is quickly becoming my favorite lush in the house. Her best slurred quote (on Lesley and Sean's secret make-out): "That's...like...not OK with me." Amazing. Later in the night Kacie B. and mopey Tierra both get some attention from Sean, Katie--the HUGE-haired yogi--sends herself home, and Kacie ends up with the rose.
The last date is an art-filled prank fest with Desiree. Sean takes her to what appears to be an art opening for an experimental, yet appreciated, artist. His "work" is going for upwards of $2 million per piece. When Sean leaves her alone in the back room to observe the prized piece, the gallery director--I mean actor--tells Desiree about the beloved piece and its history. She then excuses herself, and while Desiree takes a seat (cold and alone in the room on what was supposed to be a date), the piece goes crashing to the ground. Desiree, cool under pressure, keeps her calm as the artist storms the room accusing her of ruining it. Sean, apparently a nice guy, rescues Desiree and soon confesses that it was all a set-up. It was funny, and Desiree was cool. Later, they head back for a steak dinner at Sean's place, hosted by Sean, playing the part of Every Texas-born Man. After dinner, they slip into their swimsuits (WHAT?!?! AFTER STEAK?!?) and swim and make out and fall in love with each other as they share stories of their perfect families. She gets a rose. Could she be the one?
At the rose ceremony, Amanda proves herself to be a nut job, Daniella once again gets wasted and hilarious, and Robyn asks Sean if he likes black girls. Awesome.
Roses go to:
- Sarah
- Kacie
- Desiree
- AshLee
- Lindsay
- Robyn
- Jackie
- Lesley M.
- Selma
- Catherine
- Kristy
- Leslie H.
- Tierra
- Taryn
- Daniella
- Amanda
Byeeeeeee: Katie, Brooke, Diana
Awards
- Awkward first kiss: Sean and Sarah's. It lasted too long and Sean is no Arie when it comes to kissing.
- Best quote: "I'm a vegan, but I love the beef." - Catherine
- Wasty-mazing: Daniella. Also, girl, fix your roots.
- Bravest: Desiree, who got into a bikini after a steak dinner.
- Frontrunners: Lesley M. and Desiree (two weeks running!)
Until next week,
Mike
1 comment:
Oh my gosh! SO glad I wasn't the only one who was like: "Um...Vegas, with your Dad??"
Love your posts; they are thoroughly much more enjoyable than watching the actual show. Can't wait to read more!
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