Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Break-ups suck...I'm just sayin'

After spending the morning in the beautiful state of New Jersey (please note hefty dose of sarcasm), I am back and ready to blog. You can thank me later.

Episode five involved a trip to Sun Valley, ID, for some skiing, skating, and sketchy behavior. Isn’t it fun that ABC has once again incorporated a travel budget? Remember last season when meeting family dates happened on set and none of the trips were fun? I do. It sucked. But thank goodness our economy is roaring and ABC is able to frivolously entertain us with fun destinations for drama.

The girls were excited to arrive to the winter wonderland, all dolled up in matching coats. Hilarious! Then everyone tackles each other, and it’s a nice moment of forced fun for us all.

The first date was a one-on-one with Chelsea. Is she affectionate? Does she have a romantic side? These were questions to which our Matthew needed answers, and he got them. Girl hates PDA, doesn’t like to hold hands, and acts like a dude. But he throws a humdinger of a line in there anyway: “My parents will love you.” Okay, not fair. Sweet nothings that hint at a future together make it hard for the scorned to get over you. Trust me…I’m not bitter. I promise. For real…everything’s fine with me. No broken heart here! Oops…sidetracked…

Anyway, Matt makes out with Chelsea anyway and she treats him to her very own “Fantasy Suite” invitation. Wait, isn’t that two episodes from now?

The next date is the group date. Amanda, Robin, Marshana and Shayne go skiing with Matt on the snowy slopes. Amanda and Marshana can’t ski, and it’s funny. Amanda is cute about it; Marshana complains. Shayne checks her makeup with skiing and Robin interrupts, a skill that she seems to have perfected. It’s all very predictable. The inevitable pool scene follows.

The last date is a one-on-one with Noelle. They skate and talk about facial injuries (apparently I’m oblivious to their shared pasts) and nothing happens. So fun!

Meanwhile, back at the manse…Marshana pulls out her attitude card and cashes that baby in! She calls out the other hoes when they accuse her of being negative. It was definitely the “most dramatic encounter ever.” Again, please note sarcasm. I just love Chris Harrison and his platitudes.

The pre-rose ceremony is pretty predictable as well. Marshana complains to Matt about how the girls picked on her, Chelsea interrupts and they awkwardly kiss, Robin is annoying, blah blah blah.

And then, the “most dramatic rose ceremony ever.”

1) Shayne
2) Noelle
3) Chelsea
4) Amanda

Adios to Robin and Marshana. We knew they wouldn’t last, although I’m bummed America can’t see Holland, MI next week on TV. Y’all would have loved the windmills and tulips and overall Dutch-ness of it all! The hometown visit could have caused a worldwide craze for wooden shoes, but we’ll have to wait for something else to do that. Like me.

Awards:
1) Most drama: Marshana
2) Spoiler of everything: Robin
3) Rupaul look-alike: Marshana. Tell me you agree!

Until next week,

Mike

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Is it just me or does Chelsea look like Frances McDormand? And, I am not sure if that is a good thing.