To Bone or Not To Bone

It's our favorite episode of the season. It's the night where unknowing (ha!) lovers are given the choice to spend the night in the Fantasy Suite or Not Bone, and everyone bones! But wait...do they?

This season we're boning in Curacao, and it's simply beautiful.

The first date goes to Sean. He's cute in his Nantucket red shorts, Toms, and an incredibly deep V-neck tee. They ride a helicopter--in a season bereft of helicopter rides--and Sean can't summon the strength to tell Emily he loves her. Sean has a minor communication crisis, and Emily notices. Later, in his second deep V of the night, Sean accompanies Emily to dinner where he reads a letter he's written to her daughter, Ricki Bobby. It's pretty bad, but Emily thinks it's cute. Typical. When the Fantasy Date card arrives from Chris, Emily and Sean choose to forego their own rooms and bone. But then she sees him out after a while, because she's "a mom." What, moms don't bone random strangers these days? So...in the end...they bone? But don't bone? I have no idea. They sleep cold and alone.

The next date goes to dapper Jef. They sail around the island while Jef peppers her with questions about his suitability for Emily. Are they a match. Will he be a good dad to Ricki Bobby? He mentions to Emily that his parents want to meet her, and it's cute. (Apparently their Mormon "charity project" has ended and they're free to meet their future daughter-in-law.) At dinner, Jef preemptively foregoes his individual room for the Fantasy Suite with the understanding that they won't spend the night and won't bone because Ricki Bobby and his parents will be watching them. Um...BORING. Jef tells Emily he loves her again, and she sends him a packin' before they fall asleep like she's turning tricks. Brilliant. Bone? Not bone. But honestly, she really likes Jef and it's obvious. The date was cute.

Lastly, the most boneable of them all has his date with Emily: Arie. They swim with dolphins, but not without making out first. Emily can barely hold herself back and she totally wants to ride his Dutch racing business, but she won't give herself the chance. So much so that she doesn't even offer him the Fantasy Date card because she, admittedly, doesn't trust herself with him! Their physical chemistry is undeniable, but are they mentally there? Who cares, they're hot. Also, did you notice the "I want to be boning you right now" look they shared mid-make-out before they said goodbye? Yowza. Is this the first time the Fantasy Date card hasn't been offered? Weird. Especially with this couple. They're all about it.

In the end, an uber-emotional Emily gives roses to:
1) Jef
2) Arie

An almost emotional Sean is sent home. I so wish he would have cried, but he was probably too focused on the fact that his mammoth thighs were screaming to get out of his pants.

Awards:
1) Frontrunner: Jef
2) Worst line: "I wanted it to be you," said Emily to the rejected Sean. Boo...not fair.

So it's Jef versus Arie. Dapper versus Dutch.

Until the finale!
Mike