B*tches Tell All

So I flew back from Barcelona (that's "Barthelona" to you) this afternoon after being upgraded by the boys at the American Airlines counter, and although "I don't blog the B*tches Tell All" episode, I have a few choice thoughts for you as I begin to figure out how I'll be attacking my newly-gained tapas weight at the gym this week. Ahhh, the jet-setting life I live. LA and Barcelona this past week, South Bend, Indiana in two weeks. My life is pure glamour. Almost too glamorous to take a week off from the blog. But you knew I'd do this (both blog and freak out over too many tapas, duh). I have the energy and heart for it. After all, I was able to nap in my fully-flat business class seat, as opposed to what could have happened with the plebes in coach. Can you imagine taking off without having champagne first? It's too much to fathom right now, so on to the episode.

1) There were two dudes in the audience. But only one at a time. Any one else notice that halfway through the episode, the dark-haired guy wearing a purple shirt on the left-most seat of the front row turned in to a light-haired guy wearing a tan blazer? What did they pay the lone straight dudes to show up at the girliest event of the year? And where were the gays?

2) Did Chris have a little spruce-up job? He looked very "refreshed" tonight. Maybe it's the jet lag, but Chris was looking good. Nothing like a little botox to cured the mid-winter blues.

3) This Rozlyn mess is just that, a big mess. We all know she boned the help; why can't she fess up? And how awkward was it when she accused Chris of hitting on the fired producer's wife in New Zealand? That was low. And awkward for Chris!

4) What is with Jake's bad outfits? Why the crewneck sweater under the suit tonight? And what about the tie to come in the finale?!?

5) You could totally hear the ball in Jake's throat as he addressed Ali breaking his heart (after seeing her for the first time since she left). Amazing.

6) I have the tiniest of suspicions that Jake is not happy with what happens. He looked tired, bloated and far too un-tan to be happy. Boy needs a business class trip to Barcelona.

6) The next Bachelorette is totally Ali. If it's not, I quit.

Until next week,

Mike

p.s. How about Molly and Jason's upcoming wedding? I have some Grand Rapids hometown heroes who are attending the secretive ceremony and have signed their lives away to ABC so even my mom and her tennis/golf gabbing friends haven't leaked the deets. But the wedding's this weekend!