“Your Family Pretty Much Threw You Under the Bus”

It was the Bitches Tell All episode, and, being on the road with little better to do, I had to watch. Live from Dallas, it’s my blog.

This won’t be as long as last week, but here are a few highlights.

The first in the hot-seat was Susan (whose family “threw her under the bus”). She sheds the first tears of the evening when every raging bitch rips into her. Led by the angsty Jennifer, the jealous hoes gang up on Susan’s intentions and motives. A few of the earlier-dissed girls defend her, and I side with them. But seriously, BitchFest USA 2006 was pretty hardcore. And I now hate Jennifer—although I loved how Susan went from “falling in love” with Travis to “being in love” with Travis in one sentence.

Next, Stony McStoned-a-lot takes the stage. Sarah from some random country is cute, and she is over Jennifer’s bitchiness.

Next, a cute Kristen saddles up. Her orange-peel teeth haunt us again, but we realize she’s kinda nice and stuff.

Then, Ali G. (or lack thereof) is the focus. She (SURPRISE!!) has declined to show. Brilliant. Maybe it’s because she’s a raging crazy person.

Travis soon arrives, and—as always—he’s a diplomat. Boring…yet chiseled.

Honestly, this is the first time I’ve blogged the Bitches Tell All.

Awards:

Craziest: Da Ali G

Most Jealous: Jennifer

Most Texan: Me. My Texas Tour lasts all week. I plan on buying cowboy boots.

Until the Finale,

Mike