"When I wake up, I'm excited."

Chris begins the episode with the all-important question: “Who wants to be a doctor’s wife.” Well…me for one. But, let’s get to the juice…

Hotty-Mc-Hot-A-Doc’s friends join us in France to accomplish one mission: superficially judge the remaining girls. Make them do embarrassing things, and humor us for days.

Then, Date One begins. Friends Matt and Kevin chose Susan for the first date, which was a romantic evening spent in a Smart Car and a Parisian Café. This one-on-one date will live in infamy due to the following quotes.

1) “Oh my god, I completely agree with you.” – Susan
2) “I like you so much it freaks me out.” – Susan
3) “I’m a smitten kitten.” – Susan

And I’m dead. Susan is an aspiring actress. To me, she’s an aspiring Univision star. God those Spanish telenovelas are AMAZING! To our surprise, she gets a rose.

Date Two: Tara, Sarah from TN, Moana, Jehan and Shiloh are whisked away to the French Riviera. Drama ensues.

Mr. Bicep takes his shirt off, and we’re all peeing a little bit. His biceps are larger than my midsection, and I’m fine with it.

First, Moana takes Travis for a ride on the SeaDoo. The bitches are pissed, and it’s all normal in Bachelorland. Gambling soon begins, and Shiloh becomes inappropriately drunk. She then wastedly exposes Moana’s cruel intentions. We’re a bit embarrassed for her, but we’re over it.

Sarah from TN tells us that she’s serious about Travis after she is presented with the question: “Are you a sexual being?” which serenades as “Are you a virgin?” My take? Yes, she’s a raging virge. Then a drunken Old Navy employee interrupts (Tara).

Moana wakes Travis the following morning with some coffee and a little morning loving (which we all agree is the best). She thus secures the rose.

Date Three: Sarah (Canada) and Jennifer go camping! Jennifer, the “model” is a bit uncomfortable with the concept of time spent outside, and she loses because of it. She’s afraid of bugs, and Travis is afraid of her. Sarah, in her stoned magnificence, gets the last rose. She’s drunk, she’s on drugs, and we love it all. But, then we come to the following realization: when is Travis going to realize she doesn’t exist? What is this Canada place?

Tonight’s Roses…
1) Susan
2) Moana
3) Sarah (Canada)
4) Jehan (who are you?)
5) Tara
6) Sarah (TN)

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to Jennifer and Shiloh.

Tonight’s Awards…
1) Worst outfit: Matt, the doctor friend. A plaid blazer and a ridiculously striped shirt is never a good choice.
2) Best quote: “I’m a smitten kitten.” – Susan. Seriously…no.
3) Best biceps: Travis. I kinda wanna lick ‘em.

Until next week,

Mike