My lovely Bachelorites:
Greetings from the new-and-improved Bachelor Update Service (BUS for short). Since last season, our staff has grown exponentially and our accounting department has alotted money for us to use this free Blogger.com service. You see, the powers that be at BUS have deemed it necessary to improve the format and delivery system of the famed Bachelor Updates. Thus, the mind behind the dream has entered into a new world of technology. It's called "blogging." Whatever that stands for, no one knows (okay, we know, but play along).
Our cohorts at ABC (with whom we have had several meetings after last season's utter disappointment) have alerted us that casting is currently underway for the next season of The Bachelorette. Praise Baby Jesus for not allowing us to suffer through catty B models who sleep with married men vying for the attention for a big-eared football flop. We're done with that, and ABC has granted our tired souls respite as there is only one chick to look at, complemented by 25 strapping beaus. Speaking of beaus...Ian anyone? Actually, not anyone. Me. We're madly in love, secretly living in his old apartment in Alphabet City. Oops, is the secret out? Sorry Ian. Oh, Ian, I meant to publicly thank you for moving me back to New York and sponsoring my lifestyle. I love the new computer you bought me. And with wireless internet, this Blog will surely take off.
As always, I digress. So, I'm un-digressing now and making the announcement of The Bachelor Update Blog! Welcome to heaven on the internet (complete with a sexy dotted template). It's hot. Do you love it?
Until the season begins, I bid you adieu. But before that, make sure to bookmark this page like you've never bookmarked before. Let's be honest, it'll become your second home.
Your loving, faithful, fabulous, tall, built, blond, bodacious Bachelorite who is anxiously awaiting the return of the best show on TV (ABC are you listening? Make it good! I almost couldn't commit to this again, but I had people threaten my life if I didn't return to my e-bitching),
Mike
